The wounded healer topic is quite a complex topic for me to cover in a blog but if you have ever gone through hardships and you would like to help others then you may be a wounded healer.
It sounds pretty simple doesn't it? But if the wounded healer is not healed themselves it can be pretty difficult to heal others.
I was that wounded healer who was not healed enough to heal others, so why was I so desperate to heal others (friends, family, people I met on the bus) and not myself? A few reasons; I thought that if I helped others I didn't need to work on myself, and I also thought that if I helped others then I would be healed through that and it would take me away from focusing on myself (which isn't completely false). I did heal a bit through helping others (but not fully) because I learned how to help others and then I thought I would just apply those same principles to myself.... Hmm .. It kind of worked and kind of didn't.
I am all for self healing, positive self talk and facilitating your own healing sessions but I did need a bit of extra help from another person. It took me ages to get support for my Alopecia and I was pretty fed up when my parents would suggest another form of treatment to try. I wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend it was not happening to me and then if I focused on other people then it really wasn't happening to me, until that stopped working. People would rely on me to help them as that's what I created and I became overwhelmed and put myself under pressure as I put on this persona that I was this "strong, mentally balanced" human being that could help all but I was not. There came a point where I NEEDED SUPPORT, I NEEDED HELP AND I DESPERATELY NEEDED TO DROP MY PRIDE!
I stopped focusing so much on others and started focusing more on myself. This was a very painful process at first as when it all got a bit too tough I would stop and revert back to old behaviours and anxiety. But focusing on myself has literally made me the best helper (as I don't really like calling myself a healer) I am today. I am pretty sure I can give much better and useful advice and support now.
Today I often say to my clients the more I help me the more I can help you.
I limit my work load
I set healthy boundaries
I don't take life too seriously
AND THAT IS ALL OK
Thank you for reading x
It sounds pretty simple doesn't it? But if the wounded healer is not healed themselves it can be pretty difficult to heal others.
I was that wounded healer who was not healed enough to heal others, so why was I so desperate to heal others (friends, family, people I met on the bus) and not myself? A few reasons; I thought that if I helped others I didn't need to work on myself, and I also thought that if I helped others then I would be healed through that and it would take me away from focusing on myself (which isn't completely false). I did heal a bit through helping others (but not fully) because I learned how to help others and then I thought I would just apply those same principles to myself.... Hmm .. It kind of worked and kind of didn't.
I am all for self healing, positive self talk and facilitating your own healing sessions but I did need a bit of extra help from another person. It took me ages to get support for my Alopecia and I was pretty fed up when my parents would suggest another form of treatment to try. I wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend it was not happening to me and then if I focused on other people then it really wasn't happening to me, until that stopped working. People would rely on me to help them as that's what I created and I became overwhelmed and put myself under pressure as I put on this persona that I was this "strong, mentally balanced" human being that could help all but I was not. There came a point where I NEEDED SUPPORT, I NEEDED HELP AND I DESPERATELY NEEDED TO DROP MY PRIDE!
I stopped focusing so much on others and started focusing more on myself. This was a very painful process at first as when it all got a bit too tough I would stop and revert back to old behaviours and anxiety. But focusing on myself has literally made me the best helper (as I don't really like calling myself a healer) I am today. I am pretty sure I can give much better and useful advice and support now.
Today I often say to my clients the more I help me the more I can help you.
I limit my work load
I set healthy boundaries
I don't take life too seriously
AND THAT IS ALL OK
Thank you for reading x
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